America-Ho!

What could this lovely bunch of Americans be up to now? 

(For context these people are L-R: Micah, Dylan, Danielle, Cameron, Miles. All Americans.)

Why, we're visiting the American consulate of course! Look at that grand old flag flying majestically in the Russian breeze.

Elena Arnoldovna, who works for the International Department at the university and is in charge of coordinating the Americans, had planned a trip to the consul for us. However, there was a car crash downtown and the normally bad traffic turned even worse! Our bus was stuck, so we took several small cars (where she procured them I have no idea) and headed to our appointment. The guard was excited to have someone to practice his English with while we waited for everyone to arrive. We talked with a woman who works for the consulate about some possible career paths. It was nice to chat with such a wise and knowledgeable and amiable American in real sophisticated English. She even told us some good places to eat! It wasn't a particularly long outing, but it was nice.

Not-So-Tiny-Any-Longer Rant

Okay, so I would say that up until this point my blog has been largely comprised of things I think will interest you, my loyal blog followers. They are happy things filled with fun photos and quirky anecdotes from my wonderful life in Russia. Welp, this post will offer none of these things.
WARNING: the following rant is for dedicated and brave readers only.

Ok, so my rant's not going to be that bad. But today I'm going to tell you all about the wonders of Russian food. And by wonders I mean terrors. In so many ways.

First of all, Russian cuisine is largely colorless and made only of carbohydrates, butter (is butter a carb?)* salt, and often unidentifiable meat/fish. Some popular Russian dishes include pelmeni (boiled potstickers covered in butter), blini (grease-fried pancakes covered usually in sour cream), or a chunk of fish obscured by cheesy mayonnaisey gloop. Bread products abound. Salads consist of cucumbers and tomatoes slathered in mayonaise. Today for dinner my roommate had macaroni noodles with little chunks of meat. There was no sauce, just a half a cup of butter and a pound of salt.

So here's the real kick in the face (this new saying will catch on because it describes a phenomenon that is both painful and impressive): Russian women are SO SKINNY. My roommate looks like a mail order bride who models on weekends. She's 5'10" and weighs no more than me, though that's not saying much anymore as I have gained at least seven pounds since I've been here. That's the equivalent of growing a second heart, which I might need when mine gets so clogged with Russian pancakes and other "carbs"that it is no more efficient than the hot water pump that occasionally produces a trickle in my shower.

The worst part is, I'm turning into a Russian chef. On my last trip to the grocery store I bought oil, cabbage, ground meat, noodles, and salt. Lettuce appears in zero of my salads. (What then makes them salads, you ask? I know not.) I made a delicious chili the other day only to fill my bowl with equal parts sour cream.

I like to believe that because I'm starting to think like a Russian, I'll soon start to metabolize like one as well. I'll let you know how that works out. But hey, a girl can dream, right? Wherever you may be, dear reader, eat a nutritious meal or two for me.

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*Extra points for you if you get the Mean Girls reference.

Chores

In the dorms here, everyone has to help with communal hall chores. Each night a different room of girls has to clean the kitchen and a different room of boys has to take out the trash. A little bit of that Soviet shared responsibility remains, I guess. 

The other afternoon, the RA came and knocked on everyone's door and told us that we had to leave the dorms for cleaning. Through the usual confused translation, we thought that the dorms were being cleaned and we needed to leave. However, this was not the case. 

We were given these lovely implements and ushered outside, where we attempted to sweep the sidewalks around the entrances to the university. We only worked for about 10 minutes before they sent us all back inside. We collected very little dirt, partly due to the inefficiency of the twig brooms and partly due to the hilarity that we all felt at the pointlessness of the task. 

This was one of my top ten most ridiculous moments in Russia so far. I couldn't get the video to load on this page, but it's on my facebook page if you'd like to see. 

In Soviet Russia, dirt sweeps YOU. 

Saturday Afternoon Haiku

We drink lots of tea,

Warm happiness in a cup.

Bottoms up, Russia!

The Fortress

One beautiful but windy day, we went to an old "fort" set up in war times to protect Russia from the East. There are many of these forts in Vladivostok, and this one had been renovated into a museum. It was quite interesting, though quaint.

The view from the Fort. You can see that it's a pretty good viewpoint. We were there at high tide, and the waves were sending spray several meters into the air that you could see from the top of the hill. It looked like the city was being besieged by the ocean.

Here's a missile and a giant gun. The walls are the walls of the underground fort, which we got to go inside of and climb on top of.

Here we are, defending the East! (I promise not to aim the gun at Alaska)!

The Dragon

So I have a new favorite sushi place in Vladivostok... it's reasonably priced and quite delicious. Plus, they make very cute little rolls. So I figured I'd share it with you!

Five Minutes

I want to use the five minutes before I go to class to tell you about my morning yesterday. The night before, my window had gotten stuck open. I found it quite comical, until I got home from classes in the evening and my room was freezing cold. I alerted the proper authorities but was informed that nothing could be done until the morning, so I propped it shut the best I could with my carry-on suitcase and clambered under my blankets.

When I woke up yesterday it was quite cold. And, once again, our hot water has been out. I knew that I really needed a shower but I couldn't quite handle the thought of taking a glacially cold shower then returning to my drafty room. I went to the bathroom and determined that I wouldn't be fit for social situations unless I showered. So, begrudgingly and steeling myself for the numbing coldness, I turned on the faucet.

But lo and behold, what should come out but warm water! It was such a happy moment. I took a leisurely shower, filling the tiny shower room with steam until you couldn't even see an outline in the mirror. It was great.

I would love to tell you more, but for now my five minutes is up. I hope you all have a lovely morning filled with hot showers, or hot coffee, or a hot breakfast... or some such thing!